Wednesday, June 15, 2016

1:51 PM - Realization

I always thought that I never confess my feelings because I was afraid of rejection. But the mere fact that I would even help the person to get closer to the person that he likes, means that I have already accepted the rejection. It is the possibility of losing that person that I fear the most.

I used to think that I forced myself to be numb because I was afraid of getting hurt. But that's not the case cause I'm already used to the pain. My tolerance for it is pretty high, both physically and emotionally. What I fear most is admitting to myself how I feel because once I do that, I'll realize how deeply I've fallen and there's no getting out of it. And usually, when that happens, I always end up being some kind of martyr, bearing the pain just to keep whatever relationship I have with that person. I don't want to put myself through that cause I know that I'm the only one hurting myself.

I really don't know where this is going. I neither want to assume nor hope. I'm just trying to be a really good friend cause I guess that's all I'll ever be to you.

| Permanent Link

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

10:53 AM - Life is short

You'll never know when it's going to be your last, so you might as well be caught doing something that you love.

| Permanent Link

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

9:07 AM - Ctrl + F "me": Week 3

Music Video Making Workshop - Nani Naguit

Boys Do Fall In Love

| Permanent Link

Sunday, February 15, 2015

1:00 AM - CTRL + F ME: Week 2

Feb 9
Saw That Thing Called Tadhana

Feb 10
Developed Lomo Film

Feb 11
Met up with Janice

Feb 13
Bought Mythology class

3D print adapter

Merienda and Dinner with Bay

Baihana Gig at Tago Jazz Bar
Reese and Jensen duet

Feb 14
Saw Sinta with Kyla

| Permanent Link

Sunday, February 01, 2015

6:51 AM - Project Ctrl + F "me": Week 1

January 28 - 29 - Digital Video Cinematography at PCCI by Pao Santiago Pangan

Learnings:

Things you should know about your camera before you shoot
Playing with White Balance
Lighting
Shoot it the way you want it to come out to ensure the quality of the shots.

Ideas Generated:

Narcoleptic Hero
The Measure of Success

January 31 - February 1 - Graphika Manila 2015 at MOA SMX
Speakers:
Day 1: The Asylum - Chris Lee
Machineast - Rezaliando and Fizah Rahim
Pomme Chan
Leeroy New
88 Storey Films - Sid Maderazo
Seb Lester
Day 2: AJ Dimarucot
Disney - Benson Shum
Anton & Irene
Nick Automatic - Nicolo Nimor
Vasava - Enric Godes
Joshua Davis

Learnings:

Creative Coding using Java, Processing, Glitch
Obstructions make you a better designer
Type is important
Calligraphy makes you a better type designer
Design is multidisciplinary
Collaborate and be open minded
Flash for inking
Don't wait for opportunities. Create them.
Practice 1-2 hours a day
Escaping success
Never let technology or success drive creativity. Creativity should be above all.

Inspiration/Ideas Generated:

Motion Graphics projected for music videos and stage shows
The Five Obstructions
Art in 30 seconds
Calendar
Book Covers
Scarf
3D shirts

Labels: Cinematography, Ctrl + F "me", Graphika Manila 2015, PCCI, Week 1

| Permanent Link

6:33 AM - Project Ctrl + F "me": Introduction

Ctrl + F "me" is my self-project to help me find what drives me and what career I should take. I asked for a 2-month break from work to basically work on myself and to pursue the things that I am passionate about.

I have always been a jack-of-all-trades but a master of none. I also managed to change career paths every 3-5 years. I've been having quarter life crises since I was 20 and to put it simply, I still do not know what I want to do.

So now, I welcome you to my journey of finding myself.

Labels: Ctrl + F "me", Intro

| Permanent Link

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

9:16 AM - Quarter-life crisis

i feel nauseous.
i am slowly losing grip of what i want to do with my life.
i only realized this when i turned twenty.
why couldn't it have come earlier...when i still had a choice...

i miss my carefree days.

back then, it was okay to stay up all night and not worry about my allergies being triggered by stress and over-fatigue...

alcohol used to be my choice of poison... and not caffeine...

i want to become so many things...but apparently, the only way that i can choose one is by elimination...too bad i don't have enough time...

i miss being intoxicated with passion, angst, and clarity...
it's just ironic... that now that i am sober..everything is just a blur...
indifferent about the present...unsure about the future...haunted by the past...

| Permanent Link

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

7:53 AM - academic homicide

just..one..push...

and you'll take a slide
academic homicide!
one hell of a roller coaster ride
academic homicide!

bite your lip
and you'll regret it...
academic homicide!

a sure thing,
then you will lose it...
academic homicide.

| Permanent Link