Sunday, November 27, 2005

12:40 PM - cavern paintings...

so here are my supposedly blog entries while i was living under a rock...

august 31, 2005 - 12:52 am

langit ang nadarama sa piling mo
ngunit sa aking pag gising
ako'y muling mahuhulog sa lupa
at patuloy na aasang makasama ka muli sa alapaap

dingin mo sana ang aking panalangin
bigyang tugon ang aking mga hiling
wag mo sana akong iwanan sa ereng
nagiisa..nalulumbay..at umaasa..
umaasang bibigyang katuparan
ng isang anghel ang aking mga panaginip
patuloy na lamang bang iidlip..
patuloy na lamang bang mangangarap ng gising...
patuloy na lamang bang titingala sa mga bitwin
na kailanman, di ko matatanto..
patuloy na lamang bang mananaginip
na kailanman di magkakatotoo
dahil alam kong ako'y di para sa iyo...
nang sinabi mo na hindi ako ang mahal mo..
alam kong hindi ako ang mahal mo...

september 2

there's no better way to say i love you than i hate you

you take my breath away
so suffocating
my heart beats faster whenever you're around
it could stop any time now

i'm getting tired of waiting
to the point of breaking down
breakdown right in front of you
so you could see
that
i've been dying for so long
until when will you stop killing
my soul
tying me down
and breaking me apart..

your indifference cuts through my wrist
and straight to my heart
you just cut me off..
cutting me out..

i can't take this anymore..
but still..
you take my breath away..
to the point of asphyxiation..

september 9 - 10:37pm
how come loving you makes it difficult for me to say that i do
how come it is easier for me to say goodbye, take care and how are you..
when i can't even say i love you
which is what my heart has been screaming out for years
but i just can't find the words..
the right time..to tell you..to let you know..
that the sound of your name is all that i long for..
that your voice is all that i'm dying to hear..
that your face is all that i dream about..
that your lips are all that my mouth is craving for..
that you are all that i need...
that you are the only one who makes me feel this way..
you and only you...
all this time..and always will be..
you and only you...

(ayokong sabihin ang petsa kung kelan ko ito sinulat dahil baka maisip niyo kung sino siya e...)

i told her everything.
i told her everything i couldn't tell anyone.
i bore myself naked in front of her
for she had neither expectations nor demands from me.
i saw her for all she was
and loved everything,
taking her both at her best and at her worst...everything.
time was all we had.

now time has passed.
and slowly the distance is greater.
i now reminisce...
i saw her for all she was...did she even take a glimpse of me?
i loved everything about her...i still do...
but could she have loved me back? well, i guess it doesn't matter.

but then, from a great distance, i can still see her.
but now the clock is slowly ticking to our end.
time will soon be gone.
and now i am caught in a dilemma as i drown in a sea of regrets..
i told her everything...
i told her how i felt about everything..
i told her how i loved everything about that one person...
i told her how that one person meant everything to me...
i told her everything...
everything except..
that she was that one person....
and she is and always will be that one person...

well, as you are reading this..
i hope that you have already realized it by now..
that all this time...
that one person is YOU.

*this is something that i wish i could have given to her but unfortunately i don't have the courage to do so...hopefully she'll be able to read it, though she'll never realize that i wrote it for her...*

october 26 - 12:38am
you saw right through me...
but i guess i didn't see it coming..
i guess i didn't see you..at all..

too caught up with an endless past
though amidst your presence
i guess i didn't see you..
as she doesn't see me..at all...

like playful silhouettes in the dark
but vivid conversations lie awake
in a vague reflection of what to come

broken as we are,
shards of glass mirror the glints of light
in this endless night...

unconsciously falling...
in a narcotic daze
foresight's useless now
so naked i wait...

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