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a wishful thinker with the worst intentions...

a disillusioned romantic... 

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

10:19 AM - reminiscing...

i was rummaging through my livejournal and have decided to link some of my entries that i haven't cross-posted here...

Note: these entries are not arranged in chronological order

the day i wanted to go to school

my take on the divine comedy...

swing life away

what about love?


at ako'y inanod

ang sarili mong mundo

still...

ang pagkabata

my answers to neil's questions


my answers to yriz's questions

my answers to eena's questions

strike2

love is huwat?

bloopers in preschool

a dream is a wish your heart makes

stuck

i try to love you even if you won't


patuloy na nahuhulog at unti-unting bumabagsak

lumulubog

if love is blind...


yes..i know...makeso na..oo...eh ganun eh...dramateeks pare...hehe...
i'm just doing this for closure....

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Monday, April 03, 2006

11:34 PM - scribbles...

o2-22-06

like a shadow at your side
nowhere to go, nowhere to hide
i am here yet you don't see me
still amidst your presence i will always be


as you look up at the sky
and watch out to see him fly
i stare at your heavenly smile
as i wish that your gaze was mine



o3-01-06

like little children
innocent and ignorant of what's to come
we unmask the night
and bare ourselves vulnerable
endless nights of playing with sweet slumber
as naked i wait for you in the dark

no expectations
no glimmer of light can see through it
still a masquerade of innuendoes
that brings about subconscious confusion
still playing it innocent and ignorant
like a game that will last for eternity
with no one victorious in the end





an endless abyss of layers of cold hard cement
that i fall into and land...breaking my fall
breaking every part of me
yet any brokenness cannot stop what caused my fall
so the cold hard cement breaks my fall for eternity
hoping you could end this cycle

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

9:17 AM - underneath the moonlit sky...

february 7

another requiem to bid farewell to everything we had...

a requiem that keeps on playing in my head...
thought i said goodbye but instead
it looks like i'll keep on coming back for more...
for more tears to shed...


what used to be vivid images
now slowly turns into a blur
everything now fades away
as if it were all just a daze...


february 8

when i fall i fall hard
unfortunately i'm not used to being caught
so i always fall face first
on the cold cement floor


i now cautiously watch my step
every now and then
for no one else other than myself...
will pick me up from this mess that i made


so tell me..
how could it be..
you're here...
tell me...
what should i expect?
cause apparently..
i'm not used to the thought
of you and me...


so what else is there..
cause i just can't comprehend..
how something like this could happen..
and of all people..to me..
cause apparently..
i'm not used to the idea
of you and me...


unanswered calls..
silent replies..
an open hand...
now gone in a memory..
a life anew
with you

march 23 am

falling so unexpectedly...
yet falling so fast..
falling even further...
into a cycle of emotions and thoughts...

allowing to penetrate my defenses
inch by inch..
the closer we get..
the more confusion swallows me whole

still having a struggle
with moving forward
to close the gap
and forget a bitter past

yet open to everything you give me
and doors welcoming your arrival
into this possible tryst
that i slowly and unknowingly have taken a leap into

all this to start a life...
a love...
anew..
with you...

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