9:16 AM - Quarter-life crisis

i feel nauseous.
i am slowly losing grip of what i want to do with my life.
i only realized this when i turned twenty.
why couldn't it have come earlier...when i still had a choice...

i miss my carefree days.

back then, it was okay to stay up all night and not worry about my allergies being triggered by stress and over-fatigue...

alcohol used to be my choice of poison... and not caffeine...

i want to become so many things...but apparently, the only way that i can choose one is by elimination...too bad i don't have enough time...

i miss being intoxicated with passion, angst, and clarity...
it's just ironic... that now that i am sober..everything is just a blur...
indifferent about the present...unsure about the future...haunted by the past...

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